The light at the end of the Narnian tunnel...

Last year our school did the musical "Alice in Wonderland Jr." It was a ton of fun, but also a lot of work, as most ventures of that kind usually are. After the success of last year's show, we decided to do another musical this year - "Narnia," based on the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. We did auditions in late September, cast the show around Thanksgiving, and started rehearsals on October 25th. Since then, I have had no free weeknights - Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday have been consumed by musical rehearsals, and Wednesdays are the rehearsal days for City Band and Millennium Swing Orchestra.

Several times over the past 3 1/2 months I have longed for freedom from the show - time to do the things that I want to do - time to visit my brand new baby nieces, my sister and brother-in-law, etc., spend time with Jeff, go out for coffee with friends without having to dash out mid-conversation to make it to rehearsal on time, relax, have a nap, do laundry, paint my toenails.... some of these things are completely mundane, but that's exactly what I've found I've been missing: time to enjoy the mundane aspects of life. Now, I'm definitely not saying that spending time with Jeff or visiting Avery and Emily are mundane - I feel exactly the opposite actually. What I mean is that when I start wishing I could do laundry and clean my car after school, or go to the mall, or wash the floors in my bedroom, or bake banana bread, or hang out in my pyjamas... then I know I'm feeling overcommitted.

What keeps me going through all of it though, is that I know it's good for my students. It's good for them to have the experience of being on stage, playing a part of something bigger, escaping themselves for a couple hours and entering a world where they can be anything.... a witch, a wolf, a statue, a dancing woodland nymph. It's good for them to be challenged and to have the responsibility of learning their lines, music, harmonies, blocking, etc. It's good for them to have the bonding experience with their fellow cast and crew members. It's good for them to see that they are capable of doing something big, and presenting it to a live audience.

There's always the stress of "that chord was out of tune" or "that character missed her entrance" or "that person forgot his lines" or "this person never seems to stay in character" etc. but in the end I always look back on it and say that it was worth it. Not for me and for the (usually-)out-of-tune chords (which they sing beautifully in music rehearsal but forget when they get on stage), or for the amazing finished product, because, let's face it... it's a high school musical. We do what we can. But what makes it all worth it is the look on the kids' faces when they say to me excitedly in the hallways, "Miss Campbell! 4 days 'til Narnia opens! I'M SO EXCITED!" I guess this is somewhat what it must feel like to have children - you sacrifice your own time and energy so that they can experience as much as possible, and you don't do it for yourself, but for them.

So, here we are, staring down the barrel of another opening show, which is going to happen in 2 1/2 days whether we're ready or not. This weekend is consumed by 13 hours of tech and dress rehearsal, with a whirlwind road trip to Saskatoon to see Jeff and to pick up band instruments from the repair shop crammed in on Saturday night. On Monday we take the stage with full costumes, make-up, sound, lighting, set, props... the works. For me, I just keep my students in mind whenever I get stressed about the product - I need to remember that it will never be perfect. They work hard, they are wonderful people, and they will do the best that they can do. They will be better for it, and really so will I.

Come Monday, I will begin to have more free evenings as our first 3 shows are matinees. Friday and Saturday are evening shows, Sunday is a matinee..... and come Monday, I will have all weekdays free except Wednesday. Regular life will resume. I will have time to spend with Jeff again, not just on weekends. I will get to see the twins grow and get cuter by the day again. :o) And what will be left? Good memories of another show with wonderful students. Here's to hoping all goes well on stage!

Reasons why I love my job:

- My students crack me up all the time (like today, when one of my senior band percussionists had timpani mallets in her hand and then was caught off-guard when I said "Back to the beginning" - where she needs to play a roll on the triangle.  Not wanting to disappoint, she quickly grabbed the triangle in her hand, and picked up the triangle beater in the same hand that was already holding the timpani mallets, and proceeded to do the most awkward roll I've ever seen... while laughing uncontrollably the whole time).

- I feel comfortable asking any teacher or administrator for advice at any time, and they're always willing to provide it.  They ask me for ideas as well, which makes me feel like a competent and creative teacher.

- I get to choose music that I love, for EVERY one of my 4 bands and 2 choirs.

- The thought of how many amazing new scores I'll get to learn, rehearse, direct, and perform over the course of the next 30 years is incredibly exciting.

- Having a Grade 7 homeroom class feels like being a camp counsellor every day - I get to be a role model for young students, and while I have to keep them in line at times, we always have a lot of fun.

- I have the freedom to plan fun lessons that will entertain the students while also teaching them important concepts (like the scavenger hunt we did this morning in my Grade 7 Science class, where I had hidden 18 exam review questions around the room and teams had to find them and answer them).

- My students tell me when I've made a difference, and it gives me warm fuzzies every single time.

- My school has a beautiful auditorium with gorgeous marble steps leading up to a stage where I get to rehearse 4 bands full of girls in green kilts who work hard, play expressively, make me laugh, drive me insane, frustrate me to no end, make me smile, inspire me, and remind me why I love my job..... sometimes all in one day.

- Hearing the difference in sound, technical ability, etc. of my bands from September to now makes me feel like I really AM making a difference.  Whew.

- On Monday a group of senior students arrived from Japan and are now visiting our school for 3 weeks.  Yesterday 4 of the girls joined my jazz choir rehearsal.  We had a ton of fun, and our sound was awesome.  Today I had the same 4 girls in my senior band (3 on trumpet and 1 on flute), and I was SO blown away by how well the group played, the Japanese students and my own students alike, that I sent my trombone player to the office to get our principal to the auditorium to listen.  She came back with the principal and another teacher who sat and listened to the group play Sousa's "Nobles of the Mystic Shrine" (love love LOVE that piece).  The trumpet section knocked everyone's socks off, and the principal insisted that we perform at the school assembly on Monday.  Rehearsing with these girls was such an amazing experience for me as a music teacher, and it was awesome for my girls to hear what a balanced band sounds like, not to mention what technical and musical proficiency can be achieved with regular practice.  Everyone was in a fantastic mood after that rehearsal, and our Japanese students will be back again for another rehearsal tomorrow... I CAN'T WAIT!!!!

- Sigh.  I love my job.  Period.

:oD

Four Strong Winds.... 1 year ago....

Exactly one year ago today, I sat in the kitchen of a little cabin in Palmerston North, New Zealand with the wonderful Tommy P, strumming and singing and recording us singing "Four Strong Winds" at midnight on the little Mac computer that I had borrowed from Hutt Valley High School.... October 27th, 2007 (I know the date of this post will read Oct. 26th but it's the 27th in NZ so that's what I'm going by).  What I felt in that moment were simply feelings of contentment and pleasure over the fact that we were recording ourselves singing in harmony.  It wasn't until later that I realized how poignant the lyrics of the song were, and just how much that recording would mean to me after I left New Zealand.

So, it has been exactly a year since I saw Tommy for the last time.  I've thought of him probably every day since, and I've watched that video more times than I can count.  Tommy and keep in touch very regularly, and have plans to meet up again in a year and a half, back on that side of the world again.... and you can bet that there will be an updated recording or two, or twenty.  We will have new places to see, new songs to sing, and new memories to create.  But for today, on this one-year anniversary of the day we had to say goodbye, I am paying my respects to one particularly bitter-sweet memory from a beautiful day in my past.

Kei te aroha au i a koe, Tommy.  And I WILL look for you when I'm back your way....

Finished.

Well that's it, folks. I'm done my internship at Hutt Valley High School. I'm still not quite sure where the time went, but alas it is gone, and now I have the weekend to pack up before moving on to Australia, and finally Vancouver before heading home to Saskatoon in just over 2 weeks. In the meantime, here's a photo recap of some of the week - farewell parties, organizing the office, packing up, and just generally having fun and enjoying my last bit of time at HVHS.

Roger stopped in to our Year 11 farewell party on Wednesday

Stephen looking jaunty in his modest party hat, supplied thoughtfully by the 11MU students

Megan made us a cake on behalf of the Year 11 Music class

Year 11 Music party

My last HVHS orchestra rehearsal this morning



A short video clip of this morning's orchestra rehearsal

After my last Year 13 lesson today we went outside to take pictures - here we are spelling "MUSIC" (hopefully you can see what we were going for!)

A true "action shot" of some of my Year 13s! :o)

My Year 13 girls skipped Spell 3 and part of Spell 4 to shop for farewell presents for me. They then presented me with a huge array of gifts during my Spell 4 Year 9 class. Here they're sitting on the stairs up to the recording studio, watching me open my presents.

The assortment of gifts I received from my students (the jar of Marmite and the card on the right are courtesy of the Year 11 class, while the barette directly in front of the Marmite and the flower card came from a student that I worked with in the Barbershop group. Everything else is from my Year 13 girls - kiwi lollies including Jaffas, Pineapple Lumps, and kiwifruit chocolate, a paua shell bracelet, a magnet, 4 buttons, a NZ identity bag, a hilarious card, and a bottle of Lemon and Paeroa.... I am spoiled!)

A before shot of my desk (complete with my own beautiful gold party hat from the Year 11 Music farewell)

After shot - now that's organization!

My beloved whiteboard in M2, full of scrawled guitar exercises, lesson outlines, chord charts, and assessment criteria from my Year 9 Guitar classes

This is my classroom. Goodbye M2. I'll miss you.

The view of M2 from the students' perspective

Empty hallways outside the Music office. These green doors are practice rooms, and are almost always bursting with sound from classical clarinet to rock bands.

So there you have it. What an experience all of this has been. I will miss this place probably more than I know at this point... it likely won't sink in until I leave New Zealand, or even until I'm comfortably back in Canada. It has been incredible. My colleagues have been fantastic. My students have been amazing. I have been so fortunate in my internship experience, and all I can think about as I look back is how much I have grown. It has been life changing, to say the least.

I can't even think of a way to adequately wrap up this blog post, other than to say once again that I have been so lucky to have such an incredible experience in New Zealand. So thank you to everyone who played a part in it. To Stephen: Thank you for being so supportive, encouraging, and inspiring. Thank you for pushing me to challenge myself. You have helped to make my internship experience more meaningful than I could have ever thought possible. To my students: keep learning, keep challenging yourselves, and keep seeing the beauty in music and the joy that creating and performing can bring to you and to your audience. Remember to avoid comma splices in your formal writing, and for goodness sakes, don't capitalize the word "Trumpet." It's not a proper noun. Keep asking questions, challenging your assumptions, and expanding your horizons. And most of all, keep living and loving music. You have discovered one of the most beautiful aspects of life so hang onto it no matter what, because even if you have nothing else in life, you can still have music.

Cheers to everyone at HVHS for an incredible 4 months. I'll miss you.

Let the farewells begin....

The fact that I have only 2 days of internship left has finally started to sink in. Last night we had our Year 13 performance evening, which was very entertaining and a wee bit sentimental. Almost everyone in the class performed, including myself (singing jazz with Andrew on piano) and Stephen (who played a piano/clarinet duet with Hannah that he composed in his 7th form year, when he was the same age as our students are now). Then, for the grand finale, the whole class got together to sing one of Andrew's original compositions, aptly entitled "Leaving Song." Andrew sang a few verses solo, I wrote my own verse to sing solo, and then the whole class sang the chorus in harmony:

This year has been a journey across the ocean wide.
There was so much for me to learn but you stood there by my side.
And now that I am leaving too, it's time that we must part.
You've been an inspiration and you're always in my heart.

It's sad to see you're leaving as we see you on your way.
For the years you have been teaching, we wish that you could stay.
And for all we've learned together we thank you in every way.
As we move into the future, we hope you'll come back someday.

Then this morning at staff briefing, Steve Chapman (HVHS Principal) thanked me publicly for my contributions to the Music Dept., gave a nice speech about me and my time here, and wished me well for the future. The speech was met with applause from the entire staff - it was such a nice tribute.

In the middle of the day there was a knock on our office door. It was Helen, a student in Katriona's music class, with a card and a gift for me. The card said something like, "I heard that you are leaving this Friday. I want you to know that even though you didn't teach our music class, it was really good to have you help with the Barbershop Chorus. You have an amazing voice! It has been so great to get to know you. Now that you are leaving, we are all crying... like this!" (followed by an adorable anime sketch of somebody on their knees, wailing away, crying streaming fountains of tears). She gave me a silver hair barette speckled with lime green gemstones... my favourite colour! It was such a surprising and thoughtful gift... it really made my day.

Then in Spell 5 (last period of the day) Stephen and I were deliberately kept out of the classroom for the first couple minutes of our Year 11 class, and when we were called in we were met with all of our students cheering, and a room full of streamers, balloons, noise-makers, and 2 ridiculously giant gold party hats. The students gave us gifts, baked a cake, brought food and drinks, and scrawled out "Goodbye Mr. Lange and Miss Campbell!" across the whiteboard. We had tons of fun, ate lots of food, took some pictures, and then spent the last half of the spell composing and recording an original piece for balloons, party favours, Pringles cans, and a guitar and a Coke bottle (because we had to do something musically enriching with the lesson, right?). We notated our composition with a graphic score on the whiteboard, and then recorded it on Stephen's laptop using the program Audacity. I also recorded it on my video camera, so I'm sure you'll all be keen to listen to it when I get back to Canada, right? ;o)

After school I said farewell at Volante rehearsal. Leaving Roger was particularly difficult, as he has been so good to me during my time in NZ, both at HVHS with Volante and in Wellington Youth Choir. WYC has been such a huge part of my growth here in New Zealand, and that opportunity would not have been possible without Roger's thoughtful offer for me to sing with the choir for the remainder of the season. I got choked up as I hugged him, and the choir applauded as I left the room. What a great group of people.

Stephen, Gary, Katriona and I went for afternoon tea at the New Dowse, and I was presented with a gift on behalf of the 3 of them - a card with endearing personal messages from each of them, a set of beautiful NZ greeting cards and envelopes, and a blown glass koru necklace. We visited over tea, smoothies, hot chocolate, etc. and then disbanded for the evening.

So, my day was full of farewells, parties, gifts, feel-good moments, and a few tears mixed in there too. And don't forget those ridiculous gold party hats. Now I'm gearing up for my last 2 days at HVHS and a farewell party at our place on Saturday night before flying away from the Wellington airport on Monday. I will be crying my eyes out when I leave here.... but what a beautiful 4 months it has been.

I am the luckiest.

50 random things - #51-100

For a list of "random things #1-50," refer to the link on the right hand column of my blog (under "About the Author"). Here comes the list, #51-100! Somehow I can't figure out the numbering, so just add 50 to each number and it'll be all good. Again, in no particular order:

1. My favourite time signature is 6/8.
2. Fewer things freak me out more than walking down a stopped escalator. Walking up is ok, but walking down is just trippy.
3. I have an affinity for necklaces and sunglasses. You will very rarely see me without a necklace.
4. I have chubby baby hands with dimply knuckles. This may have been cute at age 2, but now that I’m 22 I feel as though this might be a little odd.
5. I cry at the end of the movie “Dead Poet’s Society” every time.
6. If I focus on the sound of a clock ticking, I inevitably start subdividing it in 8th notes, 16th notes, and various triplet patterns. It becomes very annoying, very quickly.
7. I am good at mini-golf, but can’t play regular golf because I always want to swing the club like a baseball bat.
8. All of my piercings and tattoos have memories of friends associated with them. I believe that body modification is a bonding experience, so I always bring friends along (belly button = David; helix = Allyson; conch = Kari; nose = D-Bo; 8th note tattoo = Misha; tragus = Nick; koru tattoo = Kirsten)
9. I have never experienced a pain more intense than getting a tattoo on my rib cage. I’m sure that even childbirth will pale in comparison.
10. Every year I try to make a note of announcing when the day, month, and year are the same (i.e. “It’s July 7th! 07/07/07!”). Next year I will do the same on August 8th.
11. A sunset on the beach takes my breath away.
12. I find the notion of musicians playing in time with their heartbeats prior to the invention of metronomes completely romantic and human. I should try it sometime, just to see what it’s like.
13. Don’t ask me if I’ve seen a certain movie, because I probably haven’t.
14. I have a horrible tendency to fall asleep during movies. Most of my friends have accepted this fact. My friend Dave somewhat jokingly insists that I find his company so boring that I could fall asleep while watching a movie at his house, even if I had just awoken from a 12-hour slumber. Sorry, Dave.
15. I far prefer driving standard/manual to automatic.
16. I have never bungy jumped, but I did the Shotover Canyon Swing in Queenstown, New Zealand, which is similar to bungy in that you jump (or do a backflip, or a handstand, etc.) off of a tall platform – 109m in this case – into a long free-fall. Doing a backflip off of a cliff was the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. I screamed all the way down, and then went back for more. I think doing the Canyon Swing proved to me that I’m braver than I give myself credit for, and as such I am now keen to do both the bungy jump and sky dive.
17. I love inspirational quotes.
18. I am convinced that Ella Fitzgerald and I are soul mates because we share the same middle name (albeit different spellings). I could listen to her singing for hours on end, and I have been known to do just that on long road trips.
19. I believe that you don’t fully appreciate the beauty of your own country until you leave it. Travel has an amazing way of opening your eyes to what has always been around you.
20. When I was in my teen years, I had a shelf that ran the length of 3 out of 4 of my bedroom walls at home. Amazingly, I was able to fill all three shelves full of picture frames. I had something like 56 picture frames in my bedroom at the time. Cleaning around them was a bugger, but at least I was constantly reminded of my rich life and my wonderful friends.
21. I love karaoke to a ridiculous extent. The guys at one of the karaoke bars in Saskatoon know my friends and me by name (and sometimes by song choice). It’s somewhat embarrassing, but more entertaining than anything.
22. I used to be a prolific letter-writer. I had pen pals from around Canada and the States, and the occasional overseas one. I don’t write as many letters by hand as I used to – I suppose technology has made it easier to keep in touch through the Internet. Still, somehow there is something so heart-warming about receiving real “snail mail” from somebody.
23. I am addicted to Facebook. Whoever created that website is a genius.
24. I keep journals in which I write anything and everything that comes to mind before I go to bed at night. Sometimes I think that I’d hate for other people to read them, and sometimes I think that it would be interesting for people to stumble across them after I’m long gone. I doubt that anything I write in there would be a surprise to anyone, as I am very open about my emotions.
25. I love having girls’ nights in with my friend (and now roommate) MacKenzie, in which we have “Sex and the City” marathons where we stay up for hours watching episode after episode, eating Crispers in our pyjamas, giggling, and engaging in plenty of girl talk.
26. The more I think about it, the more I believe that everything happens for a reason. This may or may not be true, but it sure makes those tough moments in life a lot easier to bear.
27. I am not religious, but I do consider myself to be spiritual. I used to feel like I needed to identify with an organized group, but the older I get the more I realize that I am perfectly comfortable believing what I believe and living my life the way in which I choose to live it. I believe that the higher power comes from all around and deep within (which I understand are contradictory statements); my “faith” is in myself, in the people that I love, and in the beauty of the small things in life.
28. I know almost nothing about politics. It’s sometimes embarrassing to admit how little I actually know. I cringe at the thought of political discussions around the dinner table. Can we talk about music or travel instead?
29. The smell of fuel is strangely comforting to me. I’m sure I associate it with good childhood memories of family road trips.
30. I can do this weird thing with my tongue where I can curl it into a clover formation. This is clearly one step ahead of the rest of you, who likely can only curl yours into a U shape. I’m actually not sure how I can do that, as neither of my parents or my sister can do it. I only discovered this “talent” when I was in my late teen years.
31. I am always in awe when I look out the window of an airplane to discover that I’m flying above the clouds, across mountain ranges, or across the patchwork quilt fields of the Canadian prairies. I love taking pictures out the window, especially if the wing of the plane is in the shot.
32. I have always decorated my lockers at school with colourful magnets and pictures of friends and family. Now that I am in my 5th year of university, I still decorate my locker. I’m not sure what I’ll do when I’m finished school – I guess I’ll just have to find a corner of my desk in my music office for a bulletin board collage or something.
33. I have magnetic poetry on my fridge, and I can sit there for hours coming up with different combinations of words. Sometimes I am actually quite pleased with my creations, and I have even been known to submit my magnetic poetry for writing assignments at university.
34. I can’t clean my room unless I’m listening to music with my windows (or at least my curtains) open.
35. I sometimes have a “tongue on the flagpole” mentality. When I visited the Waitomo glowworm and Aranui caves in Waitomo, NZ, we were clearly and strongly warned against touching any of the limestone formations because of their fragility. The entire time walking through the caves, I felt the urge to stick my hand out and poke a stalactite. I’m sure if the guide hadn’t warned us not to touch anything, I probably wouldn’t feel the need to do so. I guess I’m still a child in that sense.
36. I miss having my hair in braids. If I had enough money, I would have my hair braided every year, with a different funky colour each time. I’ve had these braids done three times; the first was brown with golden highlights, the second was black with burgundy, and most recently I had black with bright purple. I think I might opt for black or brown with deep blue and green next time, just to mix it up a little (and perhaps to match my tattoo – see #59).
37. I get overly excited when I’m saving up for something specific. When I was in Grade 11 I put away tip money from my waitressing job for a month so that I could buy my video camera (which, although outdated, I still use today). Before I went to Austria and Czech Republic, I again put away all of my tip money from my summer job to be put towards the cost of that choir tour. My next plan is to save up money to travel to Germany in 2010 with two of my best mates from New Zealand, and I’m already excited about it.
38. I am a list-maker. I don’t think I could be nearly as organized as I am without them. However, I don’t think I could ever top my Auntie Diane, who once made a list of lists that she had to make. Now that’s impressive.
39. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of how lucky I am to have such an amazing family and great friends. Sometimes I wonder if I tell them often enough, although in my heart I know I do.
40. Every once in a while I’m reminded of how much I miss the original old-school Nintendo. I was the master of “Adventure Island,” a game that I inherited from my cousins Brent, Sean, and Scott (and Auntie Donna and Uncle Jack) after their realization that I was so in love with this game that I would wake up at 6am on a Saturday (while on summer holidays!) to play it in their living room. I’m pretty sure Auntie Donna even has a picture of me in my nightgown playing this game, circa 1992.
41. I love doing little things for people when they’re least expecting it. It tickles me when people do the same for me.
42. I get a great deal of satisfaction out of stapling the cover page of an essay or an assignment and handing it in.
43. I got Sponge Bob Square Pants “sippy cups” in my Christmas stocking as a joke a couple years ago, and I actually use them. I think the packaging said something like “For ages 3+,” and my argument is that I am older than 3 and should therefore be able to drink my chocolate milk from my Sponge Bob sippy cup in peace, without the risk of being ridiculed by my friends (I do have an extra sippy cup though, if you’d like to join me for some chocolate milk).
44. If it were socially acceptable to wear pyjama pants in public, I would probably do it a lot more than I do. As it stands, I only wear pyjama pants to the grocery store late at night (probably to buy chocolate milk for my Sponge Bob sippy cup – see #93).
45. Living through a winter season in the southern hemisphere has made me realize how much I appreciate snow and the idea of a “white Christmas.” There is something so cozy about freezing your butt off in the car on the way to visit friends and family, and then warming yourself up by the fire in the company of good people, good food, and laughter. This Christmas will be especially meaningful to me for that reason.
46. I had my tonsils removed when I was 17, and I had just finished my run as “Gertie” in the musical “Oklahoma!” The surgeon and the anaesthetist had both seen the show, so before they put me under for surgery, they requested that I do the horribly irritating and piercingly loud laugh that defines the character one more time while I still could. I vaguely remember starting to do the scream-like laugh, then fading out as they put the mask over my face. I’m sure anyone within earshot would have been wondering what the hell had just happened.
47. When I was a young child my parents allowed me to be creative with the way that I dressed, only stopping me when my fashion decisions were potentially dangerous. I suppose I now understand that wearing slouch socks and a mini skirt in the middle of a Canadian winter is not the best idea. Thanks mom and dad.
48. I sometimes wonder what I will be like in 5 years, and where my life will have taken me. Then I think back to what I was like 5 years ago, and I try to imagine whether I am now who I thought I would be in 5 years time, 5 years ago (does that make sense?).
49. I used to fight my curly hair. Now I enjoy it, as it is a part of what makes me who I am.
50. I used to spend my summer days as a child setting up lemonade stands with the neighbourhood kids to make enough money to go to the waterslides at Kinsmen Park or to buy candy from the Mac’s store on 15th Avenue. In the summer after Grade 4, a few friends and I decided to make our own business called “Kal’s Café” (which stood for Kendra, Ashlee, Lauren; we were later joined by our friend Melissa, so we said that the S in “Kal’s” could stand for her last name, Sommerville). Ashlee’s dad built us a café out of a few 2x4s, some lattice board, and a bit of cardboard. Amazingly, that café weathered several storms and still managed to be open for business in my backyard for the entire summer. We sold 5-cent candies, lemonade, and tickets for fun activities like jumping on my mini-trampoline and walking on stilts. We made $30 profit that summer, and we spent it on a pizza party in a tent in my backyard in the fall. I still smile and laugh when I think about that summer, and how much fun we had riding our bikes around the neighbourhood shouting “Kal’s Café! Open today! At Lauren’s house!” It’s only now that I’m older that I realize how much my parents delighted in the small things as my sister and I grew up (like the time we made perfume out of flower petals and water), and I am so thankful that they allowed us to be creative and excited about our many little projects. (And while we’re at it, who could forget the time that I dressed up as a gypsy, complete with hoop earrings and a mini-basketball covered in tinfoil, and sat on the curb outside our house telling fortunes?).

Growing up

I am finding more and more these days that life is a constantly-evolving thing. We come across people in our lives that have a tremendous impact on us, whether they know it or not. There are the obvious people like my parents, my sister, my family and close friends, etc. whom we all know play a huge role in shaping who I am and how I see the world.... then there are some not-so-obvious people, like this beautiful soul who I have had the pleasure of getting to know here in New Zealand.

He has taught me more even in the last week than I could have possibly fathomed. His passion for music is nothing short of inspiring. Yesterday we took his guitar and plenty of warm clothes down to Oriental Bay in Wellington, where we sat on rocks by the harbour and played music together, harmonizing, laughing, taking pictures of each other, freezing our butts off, and just taking in the beauty of the situation. This has been a brief and bitter-sweet companionship for me, as the circumstances dictate that we must make the most of our time together here and now, as we live half a world apart and are at different places in our lives. I realize that for many of you back home, this is the first you may have heard of all of this; I didn't want to speak too soon about anything because there was never any guarantee that it would go anywhere. As it turns out, while we admire each other immensely on a variety of levels, we realize that logically we can't continue anything past November. Yet, I am choosing to take all of this for the blessing that it has been and continues to be in my life. It's amazing how much of an impact someone who has only known you a short time can have on how you view your world.

I guess this is all just part of growing up..... and for that, it is beautiful. Life never ceases to amaze me. Thank you Tommy.

The amazing thing we call life.

(Disclaimer: Extreme cheesiness follows. Reader discretion is advised. If you are feeling nauseous prior to reading this post, the words contained below will surely send you over the edge. If you choose to keep reading, please, for the sake of the flooring underneath you and any people who may be around you, have a barf bucket handy. Consider yourself warned.)

The past couple days have been really inspiring and reflective for me. On Saturday we went to Castlepoint (see post below), and as I took my shoes and socks off and felt the earth beneath my feet, I thought to myself how incredibly fortunate I am to be able to experience such amazing scenery with such wonderful people. New Zealand is so beautiful, and I have been so lucky to have been able to see so much of it already. I will also be embarking on a tour of the south island shortly, which I have heard is just incredible (prepare yourself for another picture overdose!). And it goes without saying that I have made some absolutely amazing friends since I've been here, and even though I'll be leaving them all in less than 2 months, I will always look back with fond memories of our time together.

Then last night at WYC rehearsal we sang some new tunes from our "lighter side" repertoire for the last concert of the year (which, sadly, I will not be attending, as it falls in the middle of my first week of school holidays and I will be traveling the south island), and we sang "And So It Goes" by the King's Singers. If you don't know that tune, you really should check it out - it's worth having a listen to; the harmony is absolutely incredible - unexpected suspensions everywhere - and so many rhythmic subtleties that make it an absolute gem to listen to and to sing. I was feeling really nostalgic as I remembered singing that very arrangement with some friends from Greystone Singers Executive at Disrobed a couple years ago, and it made me realize just how much I miss my friends at home. So I got a bit teary-eyed, and when I tried to comfort myself by thinking 'It's ok, you'll be back home with them soon,' I started to cry even harder thinking about leaving all of my new friends here. My mates here are amazing - I feel so much like part of the WYC family. I'm especially going to miss Julia and Jude when I go.... those girls are awesome. Anyway, I bawled my eyes out through our entire rehearsal of "And So It Goes," and when we finished that song Roger gave us our usual mid-rehearsal 10-minute break, so Julia gave me a big hug and let me cry on her shoulder, then Matt came over and rubbed my back while I sniffled and laughed and hugged back all at the same time. I love my mates here. It's funny though... it seems like a bit of a lose-lose situation (that is, in reality, a win-win situation) - I miss my friends at home when I'm in NZ, and I'll miss my friends in NZ when I'm at home. It's like if I have one, I can't have the other. But it really is a win-win though, because I'm so lucky to have such amazing people around me wherever I go. And there's a lot of room for love in this little Kiwinadian heart!

This morning I called Gerald at 8am (2pm on Tuesday back at home) to wish him a happy 1st Greystones rehearsal of the year. He was surprised to hear from me, but glad to catch up for a brief 10 minutes before I had to head off to school. I told him to say hi to the choir for me - I miss them a lot, and will be happy to be back singing with them in January.... now all we need to do is figure out some way to get the Greystones on tour with WYC!

Tonight Sam and I went on a mini-adventure to see some glow worms just outside the Hutt. There's a spot just off the motorway near Petone that you wouldn't notice while driving, but it's really quite neat. We took a walk to see the glow worms, then hung out on the grass looking at the stars. I found the southern cross and Jupiter, and Sam pointed out Scorpius. It was really awe-inspiring to see the sky full of stars, and to imagine the constellations upside-down in the northern hemisphere.... it once again reminded me of how big the world and the universe really are, and how small we all are in comparison. But, as Fivel the mouse sings in "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tale - "And even though I know how very far apart we are, it helps to know we might be wishing on the same bright star. And when the stars come out to sing their lonesome lullaby, it helps to know we're sleeping underneath the same big sky..."

So, it has been a reflective few days for me. What I've taken away from it is a greater appreciation for those things that I already appreciated - friends, family, the outdoors, life, love, humanness..... this NZ experience has been life-changing for me. Thank you to those who have supported me through it all. You have no idea how much you mean to me. I miss you, my family and friends back at home, but just know that kiwi life has been treating me amazingly well, and I will be full of stories for you (and a new perspective with which to share them) when I get home.


Until then, stay tuned for more kiwi updates. Cheers, love, and good night.

(Scorpius, the moon, and Jupiter)

50 things for "About the Author" link

Sam inspired me to do an "About the Author" link on my blog. I had fun coming up with 50 random facts about myself, so here they are, in no particular order:

1. I can be too trusting. My mom affectionately refers to me as a golden retriever puppy – always wanting to believe that everyone is good, and that nobody would ever intentionally hurt me. I’m getting better at judging character as I get older, but I still have the tendency to trust people unless they prove to me that they can’t be trusted.
2. I call my grandpa “Bobby” because that’s what my sister called him when she couldn’t say “grandpa.”
3. When I was in grade 2, I tripped over my sister as we were both running up the stairs. I hit the corner of the wall, and got 7 stitches down the middle of my face. My grandparents were visiting at the time, and we sent Bobby (see #2) to the hospital with me. He’s an artist. We left my grandma, Connie, the nurse, at home. Go figure.
4. I always sign my name with an 8^th note at the end.
5. I have that same 8^th note tattooed on my left foot. It took me 6 years to actually decide to do it.
6. I have played every drinking straw that I’ve ever had in the past 8 ½ years like a slide whistle. If you’ve ever gone out for a drink with me, you’ve probably seen this.
7. My toenails are always painted.
8. I was not a naturally talented singer. I had to work very hard for my voice. As such, it is one of my pet peeves when someone says, “You’re so lucky that you have such a natural talent.” No, I have determination and a strong work ethic.
9. I also have asthma. It is easily controlled.
10. For 2 years, I played a saxophone in sax choir that was almost as tall as I was. My back and shoulders ultimately made me give it up, but it was fun while it lasted (for the record, the saxophone in question was the bass sax).
11. I am a physical clone of my dad, and an emotional clone of my mom.
12. I have an older sister whom I love dearly, despite all of her attempts to fool me as a child. She once told me that a “family reunion” was a type of domestic pet, closely related to the dog.
13. I love to write poetry, but I don’t do enough of it anymore.
14. I’m a better baker than a cook.
15. I want to have children. One of my greatest fears is that somehow I will be unable to have my own biological children. There is no reason for this fear, yet it’s still there way in the back of my mind.
16. I used to speed skate. My skin suit had the World Industries devil on the back. Perhaps then it is no coincidence that my best race was the 666m.
17. I love ghost stories, even if they make me crawl into bed with my parents at age 16.
18. I take pictures of everything. I wish I knew more about photography.
19. One of my fondest childhood memories is watching Saturday morning cartoons while my dad made Mickey Mouse pancakes.
20. Age is just a number to me. Every stage of life can be beautiful in its own way, if you choose to see the beauty in it instead of focusing on your age.
21. I rip my fabric softener sheets in half when I put my laundry in the dryer. Half a Bounce sheet does the trick, and it saves money (see #46).
22. I’m allergic to animals, kiwi fruit, pollen, sulfa, and maybe plastic band-aids (I have a weird little scar where I put a plastic band-aid on once).
23. I wish I could compose music in the style of Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, Jason Mraz, etc.
24. I have a very girly taste in alcohol. Kahlua is my drink of choice, either in the form of Paralyzers or Brown Cows.
25. For many years, my family would go on a ski trip to the mountains during February break, usually to Alberta, BC, or Montana. My dad would always make his world-famous pizza the night before, then my parents would pick my sister and me up from school at noon so that we could get on the road early. We’d be all excited, and then year after year, without fail, we’d have van trouble and we’d have to devise some ridiculous scheme to get the required car part. The most memorable one for me was the time mom and dad had an alternator or something like that shipped on a Greyhound bus that was going to be passing through Cereal, Alberta at like 3am, so they made arrangements to be waiting on the side of the highway in the van, and they flashed their brights when they saw the bus approaching so that the bus would stop and they’d get the alternator. Despite the travel delays and the excess spending of money to fix these problems, we always laughed about it.
26. If I can help it, I will never go to bed angry at someone. Sometimes this means staying up until 4am.
27. I have a low tolerance for pain, yet I have a tattoo (see #5) and 5 piercings, not including my earlobes.
28. I can play multiple instruments, but somehow I’ve never been good at the piano.
29. Traveling amazes me. No matter how far removed you become from your home in terms of geography, culture, or language, you still find people who are exactly like you. I’ve found that music seems to be the common denominator, probably because most of my travel experience has been with choir.
30. I keep a pair of slippers in my locker at school, and I’ve worn them to class so often in the past 4 years that very few of my profs comment on their outrageously shocking neon yellow/green colour anymore.
31. It’s my ultimate goal in life to pull my debit card out of the ATM before it beeps. I’ve been trying for years, with no success so far.
32. I view glasses as a fashion statement. So far I’ve owned pairs in black, deep red, semi-rimless, and now purple and orange with rhinestones.
33. I was a very persistent and determined child, which was tiring for my parents at times. Fortunately, they didn’t stifle my determination, because now when I want something I will work my butt off to get it (see #8).
34. I got 99% in Jazz History in my 3^rd year of university, and I cried because I thought I was going to get 100%. I didn’t realize the absurdity of this reaction until much later.
35. I love to sing along with Ella Fitzgerald’s recording of “Blue Skies” while I’m driving. I’ve done it often enough that I have almost aurally transcribed her entire scat solo.
36. When I need time to be alone with my thoughts, I love to go for long walks with an Ipod full of good tunes. Walking at night is better than during the day.
37. Marshmallows taste better frozen.
38. Inside jokes make my world go around.
39. I hate spiders with a passion. This stemmed from an incident when I was 16 in which I was on a canoe trip on the Churchill River, and I discovered a big, fat, hairy black spider crawling inside my bra, between my boobs. I’ve never screamed so loud in my entire life.
40. My mom and I are very intuitively connected. Often I’ll come home after a long day at school, and as soon as I sit down at the computer she’ll e-mail me. Sometimes I’ll call her at work, and she’ll answer, saying, “I just had my hand on the phone, about to pick it up and call you.”
41. They say procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. I’ve almost mastered this art.
42. I get great satisfaction from hitting the snooze button on my alarm.
43. I have been known to sleepwalk when I am extremely overtired. This has only happened a handful of times in my life.
44. Despite #42, I am a natural morning person.
45. Astronomy fascinates me, but I know very little about the topic. I find the expansiveness of the universe entirely mind-boggling.
46. I’m not an impulsive spender of money, nor do I buy brand name products when I don’t need to. I’d rather save my money so that I can spend it on travel or good times with friends.
47. I tend to be typecast. In choir, I almost always get the jazzy or gospel solos. In musicals, I tend to play the loud, bossy, or irritating characters. I hope that this is not a reflection of the directors’ opinions of me.
48. When I fall in love, I love with my whole heart. Sometimes this leaves me vulnerable and capable of being easily hurt.
49. When I get the giggles, it can be hard for me to stop. This is especially funny in situations in which it’s completely inappropriate to laugh.
50. I view life as an ever-changing adventure with unlimited opportunities for new friends, new experiences, and meaningful self-discovery along the way. The profundity of human experience and emotion will always keep life interesting for me.

Reflections on a would-be 3 year anniversary

On this day, 3 years ago, I met Justin while visiting my cousin in Winnipeg (incidentally, I was on my way to work at IMC, where I will be going in 3 days). We hit it off immediately, we decided to date despite the distance (he in Winnipeg and I in Saskatoon). We made the commitment to making a long-distance relationship work, and we stayed together for just over a fantastic 2 1/2 years. Sure, we had our problems, and sometimes we argued past the point of no return, but overall we had a great relationship. A friendship, a romance, and a definite bond.

We broke up mutually at the end of January of this year. It was definitely the right move for both of us. And so now today, on our would-be 3 year anniversary, I have decided to reflect on a relationship that taught me so much and changed me in ways that I could have never imagined. So this one is for you, Justin, my friend.

(In Prince Albert - winter 2005)


(Road trip - on the way back to Saskatoon - Christmas/New Year's 2005)


(Visiting Winnipeg on a day off from IMC - summer 2004)


(Justin's 21st birthday - August 2004)

Throughout our relationship, Justin and I shared some pretty ridiculous moments that can only be captured through photos:

(An outrageously tacky charicature drawn by that crazy man at the Forks - hahaha, does this look familiar Diane? - fall 2004)


(Dressed up in drag for Dave's going-away party - He was going to "Queens" University, so it was only appropriate! - Late summer 2005)


(Vikings at the Forks - October 2004)


(Justin and I were there to support each other always, even when the other one was so drunk that he/she drooled on the other - Justin's b-day - August 2004)

Above all, Justin and I were friends. We could talk about anything to each other at any time, and we genuinely enjoyed each other's company, and for that I am grateful:

(In PA in September 2004)


(At Karyn and Nook's wedding - July 2005)


(In PA - winter 2005)

Now we have both moved on and gone our separate ways. Justin has a new girlfriend, and I sincerely hope that they may bring each other happiness. Now I am about to embark on a life-changing adventure in just over a month, and I truly believe that my relationship with Justin has taught me to a be a stronger individual, capable of tackling anything that comes my way. With this new level of maturity, I feel that I will be able to face my New Zealand internship with a greater level of self-awareness than I could have even a year ago.

As I grow older (and I'd like to think wiser) I find myself becoming more appreciative of those people who have touched my life along the way. While Justin and I clearly were not meant to be together in the long run, I still value his friendship and I still cherish the time that we did have together.

Justin, if you're reading this, I hope you are doing well. Debbie, I miss you. I would love to get together for a girls' day in Brandon this month if it works with your schedule. Send my love to Ray and Brenda, Lorne and Rosada, Laurie and Monique, Brad, Laurie and Jeff and the boys, and of course, Lenny, that crazy dog. :o)

Growing up has certainly been a reflective process for me. So, as I reflect on today, our would-be 3 year anniversary, I give thanks to Justin and his family for helping to shape me into the person that I am and will become.

Tarot predictions

I promised that I would write my tarot card reading information, so here it is! I was amazed at the accuracy of some of the information, including some of my feelings and internal conflicts... I was skeptical at first, but she kept getting more and more accurate as the reading went on. Here's what I remember, in no particular order:

- This is a time of change in my life, and I will continue to evolve a lot over the next 5 years
- I'm working hard but am not seeing the rewards
- I need to move away from where I am now (geographically) in order to see my hard work paying off
- I will do a lot of international travel
- In 6 or 7 years I will be working between two countries, and will be doing work somewhere in Africa (but not with children - apparently with something to do with communications?)
- I will be married within about 2 years
- I will marry a guy with a light complexion and very dark hair, and he will work in an education-related field, but not teaching in a school
- I will make my family and home life on the west coast of Canada (BC)
- I will find my true happiness / true contentment in my married life
- I will have 2 children, either 2 boys or 2 girls
- My relationship with my parents will always be a supportive one, but there will be physical distance between us in the future
- In my current relationship there is a lot of confusion on my part or his regarding whether this is the right relationship in the long run. For now, we should focus more on friendship and harmony instead of pursuing any relationship goals, as my relationship lines are not open right now. I must instead focus on my professional life and development.
- I will find a very clear path regarding my future love-life in the month of October
- I will have a career in communications or possibly with the government (so much for my 5 years of university and 2 degrees in music and education, hey?! Hahaha)
- I will find a lot of happiness with a small group of close friends

So there you have it, folks! A lot of this information is very true, some of it more than others.... anyway, I have a lot on my brain at the moment, and I will leave it at that.

2 more days of student teaching left, then it's back home again. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL IMC!!!! (That's International Music Camp, for those of you who aren't familiar with it - I am working there for the month before I head to NZ.) I can't wait to see everyone again... it's been too long!

Off to bed with me. I could barely drag myself out of bed this morning. This should be a good indication that I need more sleep.

Au revoir for tonight!

- Lauren

Reflections, and looking forward to change....

I went for a really nice run/walk tonight. I brought my Ipod full of Jack Johnson, Joss Stone, and Jason Mraz, and I stopped by a playground at Columbia school on the way, just to swing on the swings and be alone with my thoughts. It was a very reflective experience. I thought about life, love, friends, relationships, and childhood. Being at the school made me think about Bev, the music teacher who I student taught under in my 2nd year at Columbia, who was killed in a car accident this past December. I looked around at the playground equipment and thought back to the summer of grade 5, when I spent literally every day at St. John's park, playing with Nathan Heroux and sometimes the Abramyk kids. That was the summer that Nathan and I "fell in love," as much as two 11-year-old kids know how to do. I remember that Nathan was one of my first kisses, albeit a "dare" kiss. I remember coming home from a long day at the beach, the one day that I didn't spend at St. John's with him, and rushing to the phone to see that I had missed a phone call from him. I remember the feeling of excitement that came along with all of that. I remember what it was like to be young and carefree. It was a beautiful time of my life.

Now, as I reflect on my childhood, and my life up to this point, I realize that every stage of life is beautiful in its own way. Each stage is meaningful and worthwhile, just different from the last. Now, at 22 years old, life is still a fantastic adventure, although I feel like I have much more responsibility than I did when I was 11. Now I'm responsible for taking care of myself, for getting good grades in university, for preparing myself for a career as a music educator. I'm responsible for my own well-being to a much higher degree than I ever was before.

So, all that being said, I've made my decision to take better care of my physical self. I've had trouble with this recently due to recurring knee injuries, but I'm determined to get back into shape. I plan to do this by engaging in enjoyable outdoor activities, even if that means just walking with my Ipod and playing on playgrounds, reflecting on life and childhood. I came to the realization that New Zealand would be a gorgeous place to spend time walking around in. If I can make a habit of walking and/or running for 30-60 minutes a day when I'm living in Lower Hutt (and before then too, of course), I could really surprise myself after 4 months. I just need to get a new knee brace - my old one is too tight, as I got it when I was 14.... looooong time ago now. I don't need any knee injuries holding me back this time.

So all in all, tonight was a great night. I had some nice quality Lauren time, alone with my thoughts, my running shoes, my Ipod, and a playground swing. Life really is beautiful, and tonight was just another one of those nights where I thought to acknowledge it, and not to take it for granted.

In fact, today has just been one of those generally feel-good days. I woke up to a text from Hannah saying "You're the best! I'm so grateful to have you in my life!" - I LOVE that girl. Then I scrolled to the next text I had, and it was one from Quenton that read "When I think of you my smile lasts forever! Hope your day is good, I'll call you later." What a sweet heart. I really am so lucky to have such amazing people in my life.

Enough reflecting for now. More thoughts will come later, if I feel so inclined. Much love.

- Lauren :o)